Influence is, simply put, the power to personally affect someone’s decisions, actions, opinion or thinking. Influencing others is how we get jobs and promotions, win negotiations, sell products. It therefore is an important life skill that must be learnt.
Here are a few of the best psychology tricks your can use to influence people.
The trick here is to ask for more than you want at first, then scale it back later.
Known as door in the face technique, you start by throwing a really ridiculous request at someone, one that they will most likely reject. You then come back shortly and ask for something much less ridiculous – what you actually wanted in the first place.
The idea behind it is that the person will feel bad for refusing your first request, even though it was unreasonable. S, when you ask for something reasonable, they will be obliged to help out this time.
Offer what they can’t refuse
Here, you start with a request they can’t refuse and work your way up.
This is a reverse of the door in the face technique. Instead of starting with a large request, you start with something really small. Once someone has committed to helping you, or agreeing to something, they are now more likely to agree to a bigger request. Scientists tested this phenomenon in regards to marketing.
However, don’t start with one request and immediately assail them with another. Psychologists found it much more effective if you wait a day or two to make the second request.
Trick: Don’t correct people when they are wrong.
Dale Carnegie, the author of How to Win Friends and Influence People, pointed out in his book that telling someone they are wrong is usually unnecessary and does the opposite of endearing them to you.
The idea here is: instead of arguing, listen to what they have to say, and then seek to understand how they feel and why. Then you explain the common ground that you share with them, and use that as a starting point to explain your position. This makes them much more likely to listen to what you have to say, and allows you to correct them without them losing face.
Repeat what they said
The trick here is to paraphrase people and repeat back to them what they just said.
One of the most positive ways to influence others is to show them that you really understand how they feel, that you have real empathy for them. The most effective ways to do this is by paraphrasing what they say and repeating it back to them, also known as reflective listening.
Studies have shown that when therapists used reflective listening, people were likely to disclose more emotion and have a much better therapeutic relationship with the therapist.This easily transfers over to talking to your friends. If you listen to what they say, and rephrase it as a question to confirm that you understood it, they are going to be more comfortable talking with you.
Nod a lot while you talk, especially when leading to asking for a favour.
Scientists have found that when people nod while listening to something, they are more likely to be in agreement with it. They also have discovered that when someone is nodding a lot in front of them, it is natural for them to do the same. This is understandable because humans are well known at mimicking behaviours, especially those that they consider to have positive connotations.
So if you want to be extra convincing, nod regularly throughout the conversation. The person you are talking to will find it had not to nod themselves, and they will start to feel agreeable towards what you are saying, without even knowing it.
Did you find these tips helpful? Let us know in the comments!